i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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