Non-Jews are for practice
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
