If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
