I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
