and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
