So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
