i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
