new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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