if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize