oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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