I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
