Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
