So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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