I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
