and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
