beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
