Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
