I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize