you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just had sex on a roof
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
