Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
