I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
