Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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