I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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