Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
