i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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