school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
