hotel room ftw
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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