I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
