I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
