I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
