Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
