I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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