i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
