Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm really into asian looking animals
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
you never un-have a 4some
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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