Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
