Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
