How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize