My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize