So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
