People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
