oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
