He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
