you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
