her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm always down for nudity.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
