They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
