im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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