Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
