I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
