therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
