sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
