Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
