Hey man sorry I got all grabby
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We left the knife in your bed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
