I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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