Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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