Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
