GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
