Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
