I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
