i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
