I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
