Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When did angry sex become our thing?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
